The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
