you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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