if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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