You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im part way to drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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