I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
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He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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