Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
