I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
