...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
