How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
