how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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