My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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