they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
