it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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