yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
