I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
