Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
