I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize