Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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