I need help removing her.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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