Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
