i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
