My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
