I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
