So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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