She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
