dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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