Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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