Everything about him screamed your future.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
