Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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