Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
