on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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