If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize