I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize