Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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