if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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