Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
