Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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