there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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