if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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