How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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