Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Green mimosas i think yes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How naked do you want me to be?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
