Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
