do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
