Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
