You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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