would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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