haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
