Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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