I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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