Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize