They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
