areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
