the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love having hate sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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