It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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